Monty's Law

"They're twisted, they're cliche, they're the 'monty hauls' of the Realms."

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Introducing:

Brutus Bouldercrash

Brutus is a mighty barbarian from the snowy northlands of Barren Rock.  He
has huge bulging muscles that compensate for his walnut sized brain.  Quick
with the sword but not much else.  He looks the part too, wearing only a
furlined girth and small enchanted leather straps into battle and a rather
large horned vikings helmet, feeling that "armor is for wimps!".  He wields
a humongus two-handed sword that is intelligent.  It is an obnoxiously
annoying firebrand that just happens to be a pyromaniac.

Shyverlyn Whitestone

Shyverlyn is a high priestess devoted to the teaching of the God of
Adventuring.  Most times she finds herself the voice of reason in the group.
This often helps keep the others alive.  Unfortunately she has a split
personality disorder at which time she turns into an evil, chaotic,
mischievous, sex-crazed witch.  Just the right type of woman to lead the
others down the path of destruction.  She wields a battle mace called
"Scourge of the Dead" that can destroy or control undead depending on her
current mood.

Quickamus Nimble Fingers

He is a halfling, short and stout and very hairy.  He is greedy, flirty and
mischievous.  He is a master of practical jokes and has no qualms about
stealing from his friends.  He is the stereotypical halfling thief, of which
his friends constantly remind him just to annoy him, who carries a short
sword of quickness and a treasured ring of invisibility.  His favorite tools
of the trade are his enchanted lockpicks and his many knifes that are hidden
ALL over his person.

Szor Arcstar

He is a high elf archmage that is obsessed with anything magical.  His goal
in life is to own one of everything magical.  He has a deep hatred for
anything dwarven which fuels his grudge against them.  He blames them for the
destruction of his homeland which may or may not have been their fault.  He
wields a staff of the magi and wear a robe of scintillating colors, which to
the frustration of the others, did not come with a command word to shut it’s
powers off.

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Monty's Law states- "If there is rumor of even the slightest bit of treasure
hidden in a deep, dark, dangerous dungeon a group of adventurer's will band
together and wade through the most destructive of traps and monsters to
retrieve it, usually bending every rule in the process."

These are four such adventurers!

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*DISCLAIMER: Monty's Law is definitely an "R" rated story.  Lots of
swearing, sarcasm and sexual innuendoes, including every sterotypical 
character type in the "Dungeons and Dragons" atmosphere.